Is your son a computer hacker?

[Rekkin]

www.adequacy.org/stories/2001.12.2.42056.2147.html

5. How much time does your child spend using the computer each day?

If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites. DOSing involves gaining access to the "command prompt" on other people's machines, and using it to tie up vital internet services. This can take up to eight hours. If your son is doing this, he is breaking the law, and you should stop him immediately. The safest policy is to limit your children's access to the computer to a maximum of forty-five minutes each day.

9. Has your son radically changed his appearance?

If your son has undergone a sudden change in his style of dress, you may have a hacker on your hands. Hackers tend to dress in bright, day-glo colors. They may wear baggy pants, bright colored shirts and spiky hair dyed in bright colors to match their clothes. They may take to carrying "glow-sticks" and some wear pacifiers around their necks. (I have no idea why they do this) There are many such hackers in schools today, and your son may have started to associate with them. If you notice that your son's group of friends includes people dressed like this, it is time to think about a severe curfew, to protect him from dangerous influences.

^Those are my favorites. "Son, I've noticed that you bought a yellow hoodie. I must now put you in jail for being a computer hacker. I'm sorry, but I also noticed you spent almost an hour on the computer yesterday. This obviously labels you as a hacker."

[Skelly]

haha i saw that on PB support.

[Arcum]

I love the fact that they kept stating AOL. Unless I'm mistaken they only have dial up and with #5 and its last statement "You should restrict there time on the computer for only 45 minutes" I have to say you can do very few things with AOL in 45 minutes a day. Besides the child in question would more than likely go to the computer while the parent is asleep so your only choice is to toss your computer out the window.

"I'm sorry son I thought you were a hacker so I though the hard drive out the window. I hope you don't mind."

yeah riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight...

[STAB]

or you could disregard that completely biased article as bullcrap

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i like the 30 minute stipulation. i must be a damn good hacker, then!

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nd i like how bonzibuddy is called "hacker software", when its really the last thing any knowledgeable hacker would install.

and comet cursor, which was also spyware, and is even listed on PC World's 25 worst tech products of all time (6 of which i personally have used, and thought weren't actuallt all that bad)

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If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well.

wow, wat an a$shole, AMD chips were some of the most cutting-edge chips on the market, until intel came out with core 2 duos...

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Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.

quake... possibly one of the best and most innovative games ever made.

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BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.

Your son may try to install "lunix" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional.

If you see the word "LILO" during your windows startup (just after you turn the machine on), your son has installed lunix. In order to get rid of it, you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer, and have them fit a new hard drive. Lunix is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your hard disk surface.

wow, wat a way to deface a clearly superior OS...

[Arcum]

logalog said:

Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers. It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms. Many hackers develop anti-social tendencies due to the use of this virtual world, and it may cause erratic behaviour at home and at school.

quake... possibly one of the best and most innovative games ever made.

Yeah, I laughed at that part. ANY gamer would know that Quake is actually a game and not a hacking system. I mean come on people there is a "Quake 4" out now do you honestly think people would be selling hacking systems right off the shelves where cops can see them? No, only a freakin idiot would think that.

[Rekkin]

It is a popular meeting place and training ground, where they discuss hacking and train in the use of various firearms.

There we go, all better. I'm going to be labled as a hacker for using a railgun, aww. Ah well, I'll have fun till the cops show up at my door laughing their heads off at the call they got to arrest a kid who'se now a hacker for playing an FPS.

BOOM, HEADSHOT!!

[U'bin Skool'dbi Log'a'log]

lol, yea. i would have been in jail a loooooooooooooong time ago.