Post by Zombie on Dec 2, 2005 22:28:57 GMT -5
Since the internet.
How to type like the cool kids
(A cheat sheet by SlurpeeClock of the Clock Crew)
Your = Possessive second person article. e.g. "It's your kitty."
You're = Contraction for "you are." e.g. "You're stupid."
U = Absolutely unacceptable.
Ur = Absolutely unacceptable.
There = A place. e.g. "The kitty is over there."
Their = Possessive plural second person article. e.g. "They ran it over with their Hummer."
They're = Contraction for "they are." e.g."They're kitty murderers."
Then = Donates a time period. e.g. "First this, then that."
Than = Donates preference. e.g. "I'd rather this, than that."
Newb/ie = A new person.
n00b = Stop saying this.
Were = Plural of "was." e.g. "They were living human beings."
Wear = To display on one's appearance. "I wear the grammar fairy arm band with pride."
Where = Question of location. e.g. "Where you at?"
Lose = The opposite of win. e.g. "How did you lose to someone that ugly? How did you not win against a person lacking in beauty?"
Loose = The opposite of tight. e.g. "Hang loose."
Loser = Someone who's defining characteristic is a tendency to not win. e.g. "You lost to a winner. You are a loser."
Looser = Less tight. e.g. "No, no... Hang looser."
Retarded = A person who exhibits mental deficientcy. e.g. "Fred Phelps is retarded."
Retarted = NOT A FUCKING WORD
Because = Prefix to an explanation. e.g. "I think Fred Phelps is retarded because Fred Phelps is also insane."
Cause = Short for Because. Informal/ e.g. "Fred Phelps is insane cause he lost his mind."
Cuz = IF I CATCH YOU DOING THIS SO HELP ME GOD I WILL MUTILATE YOUR SCROTUM WITH A BROKEN JAR OF PICKLES.
? = NOT short for the word "question."
Uh, Er, Hmm, Mmm, etc. = Don't abuse this. It's a nice device to donate uncertainty, and if you type it out everytime you pause to think, you're an asshole.
etc. = Short for et cetera.
ect. = Short for electroconvulsive therapy.
No = Opposite of yes. e.g. "Guys do you like me? No."
Know = To understand something; retain familiarity with it. e.g. "I know you think I'm cool."
Now = Presently. e.g. "You were cool before. You aren't cool now."
Capitalize where appropriate except in cases of extreme understatement. Use common sense, here. If you're asking if we can teach you how to dance real slow,* capitalize the first letter of the sentence, and any proper nouns. Capitalize the word "I," but not "a."
Use appropriate punctuation. I have a tendency to speak softly, so I have an aversion to exclamation point use, but some of you seem to be completely insane. Under the most extreme conditions, 3 exclamation points could be understood, but there's no reason to emphasize your passion with 3 lines of exclamation points. You don't want to look crazy, do you?
ALL CAPS is not okay unless you're funny. If you're at all self-conscious about being funny, you are not funny.
Run on sentences are not okay. However, if you're elaborating on a point, it's acceptable.
Here's a good long sentence:
The quick brown dog is jumping over the lazy fox, whom, earlier today, of course, had wore himself out chasing around the family of rabbits from an indecernable orgin; possibly of deep southern decent.
Here's a bad long sentence:
The quick brown fox is jumping over the lazy dog and he'll keep running he'll go running for a while he won't ever stop running until he reaches a good place to stop running where he'll stop running and then he won't be running any more.
Typos are passable. Everyone makes them, and there's no automated spell check. But there's no excuse for being a lazy asshole.
I'm trying to save you from yourselves. If you type like an idiot, everyone will assume you are one.
I know it's just the internet, but you're going to have to go the extra mile and not be retarded if you want equal footing.
*Likewise, if you're singing for the King and Queen, in a coat you borrowed from James Dean, you might also want to capitalize.
How to type like the cool kids
(A cheat sheet by SlurpeeClock of the Clock Crew)
Your = Possessive second person article. e.g. "It's your kitty."
You're = Contraction for "you are." e.g. "You're stupid."
U = Absolutely unacceptable.
Ur = Absolutely unacceptable.
There = A place. e.g. "The kitty is over there."
Their = Possessive plural second person article. e.g. "They ran it over with their Hummer."
They're = Contraction for "they are." e.g."They're kitty murderers."
Then = Donates a time period. e.g. "First this, then that."
Than = Donates preference. e.g. "I'd rather this, than that."
Newb/ie = A new person.
n00b = Stop saying this.
Were = Plural of "was." e.g. "They were living human beings."
Wear = To display on one's appearance. "I wear the grammar fairy arm band with pride."
Where = Question of location. e.g. "Where you at?"
Lose = The opposite of win. e.g. "How did you lose to someone that ugly? How did you not win against a person lacking in beauty?"
Loose = The opposite of tight. e.g. "Hang loose."
Loser = Someone who's defining characteristic is a tendency to not win. e.g. "You lost to a winner. You are a loser."
Looser = Less tight. e.g. "No, no... Hang looser."
Retarded = A person who exhibits mental deficientcy. e.g. "Fred Phelps is retarded."
Retarted = NOT A FUCKING WORD
Because = Prefix to an explanation. e.g. "I think Fred Phelps is retarded because Fred Phelps is also insane."
Cause = Short for Because. Informal/ e.g. "Fred Phelps is insane cause he lost his mind."
Cuz = IF I CATCH YOU DOING THIS SO HELP ME GOD I WILL MUTILATE YOUR SCROTUM WITH A BROKEN JAR OF PICKLES.
? = NOT short for the word "question."
Uh, Er, Hmm, Mmm, etc. = Don't abuse this. It's a nice device to donate uncertainty, and if you type it out everytime you pause to think, you're an asshole.
etc. = Short for et cetera.
ect. = Short for electroconvulsive therapy.
No = Opposite of yes. e.g. "Guys do you like me? No."
Know = To understand something; retain familiarity with it. e.g. "I know you think I'm cool."
Now = Presently. e.g. "You were cool before. You aren't cool now."
Capitalize where appropriate except in cases of extreme understatement. Use common sense, here. If you're asking if we can teach you how to dance real slow,* capitalize the first letter of the sentence, and any proper nouns. Capitalize the word "I," but not "a."
Use appropriate punctuation. I have a tendency to speak softly, so I have an aversion to exclamation point use, but some of you seem to be completely insane. Under the most extreme conditions, 3 exclamation points could be understood, but there's no reason to emphasize your passion with 3 lines of exclamation points. You don't want to look crazy, do you?
ALL CAPS is not okay unless you're funny. If you're at all self-conscious about being funny, you are not funny.
Run on sentences are not okay. However, if you're elaborating on a point, it's acceptable.
Here's a good long sentence:
The quick brown dog is jumping over the lazy fox, whom, earlier today, of course, had wore himself out chasing around the family of rabbits from an indecernable orgin; possibly of deep southern decent.
Here's a bad long sentence:
The quick brown fox is jumping over the lazy dog and he'll keep running he'll go running for a while he won't ever stop running until he reaches a good place to stop running where he'll stop running and then he won't be running any more.
Typos are passable. Everyone makes them, and there's no automated spell check. But there's no excuse for being a lazy asshole.
I'm trying to save you from yourselves. If you type like an idiot, everyone will assume you are one.
I know it's just the internet, but you're going to have to go the extra mile and not be retarded if you want equal footing.
*Likewise, if you're singing for the King and Queen, in a coat you borrowed from James Dean, you might also want to capitalize.
